


Funerals and Weddings

by PaddieCake



Series: Diego Solves a Murder [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Funerals, Gen, Happy Ending, Imploed/Referenced Suicide, Mentions of Murder, Weddings, both are very brief, in regards to Reginald Hargreeves, in regards to Vanya's nannies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:21:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24831556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaddieCake/pseuds/PaddieCake
Summary: The end.
Relationships: Dave/Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Eudora Patch, Diego Hargreeves & Grace Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Everyone & Everyone
Series: Diego Solves a Murder [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1794259
Comments: 20
Kudos: 190





	Funerals and Weddings

**Author's Note:**

> Again, thank you guys for everything. This is just a kind of simple epilogue-ish fic. Simple, sweet, happy, some minor angst.
> 
> Also it's just one funeral (Reginald's) and one wedding (guess).

Reginald Hargreeves, eccentric billionaire, founder of the Umbrella Academy, was dead.

Diego stared dumbly at the television. 

"Diego…" 

"Well, we can find a new apartment with the inheritance, no doubt." Diego said.

Eudora snorted, looking up as the phone began to ring.

"Bet, Klaus wanting to throw a party or Luther crying." Eudora said, her face fond.

"Vanya." Diego corrected as he answered the phone. "But Klaus is probably annoyed that he can't get through yet." Diego said.

Sure enough, once Vanya confirmed that she needed a ride to the funeral the phone rang again.

Klaus had startled him with the sound of a party popper. 

"Jesus, Klaus-("No need for full names, Jesus is fine.") That's my ear."

"I'm _so_ sorry. But did you not hear the _amazingly wonderful_ news!"

Diego rolled his eyes "Have some decorum, Klaus."

Klaus scoffed "I haven't had decorum since 2004 and you know it. Anyway, Dave and I are going to go over tomorrow morning, should we bring cucumber sandwiches? Or maybe we should go _fancy_ and get caviar?"

Diego rolled his eyes, spending the next ten minutes listening to Klaus go on about how they should celebrate Reginald's death.

Five called next, Luther was… upset, to say the least.

Over the last few years he had become far more independent. He was managing The Black Cat Café, since Klaus had been helping out more as a consultation expert. But he still went to see Reginald regularly.

Diego knew their father rarely said anything to Luther, and he spent the time mostly talking to Pogo and Grace. 

Diego had been in written correspondence with mom thanks to Luther, something he was incredibly grateful for. 

All in all Diego couldn't imagine how Luther felt. He knew about what he was like with Klaus, and how he trained Diego, and Ben, and Five. 

Luther had admitted that he had been trained to the point of being unable to move some days. 

But to Luther, Reginald was still _dad_. 

The next morning he and Eudora both drove out to Vanya's apartment.

She came running out, duffle bag and violin case in hand. Her hair was pulled back, and she smiled sadly at them as she clambered into the back seat.

"We have a concert at the end of the week, so there's some good news." She said, showing them a pamphlet. 

"So Klaus is going to be turning the funeral into a pre-concert party no doubt." Eudora said.

"He already has noise makers." Vanya said. "I lost a lightbulb."

Diego cackled "Holy shit, when was the last time that even happened?"

"Jeez, years ago I think." 

They pulled up to the Academy. A bright orange car already parked in front. Two peace sign stickers on the bottom corners of the rear window.

Klaus and Dave had bought it a year ago, brand new. The color was awful and they were still obsessed with it. 

Klaus and Dave were standing at the front door talking to Luther and Five, who had undoubtedly teleported there. 

Everyone wore black, but the sequins shining off Klaus' jacket was more than a little blinding.

He was also trying to get Luther to carry some Tupperware. Ben had one small container in his hands, and Dave had about two more in his own. Maybe eight or nine containers total. 

Klaus and Dave were both wearing brightly colored knit hats with little baubles on top. 

"Ms. Robinson insisted on feeding us. " Ben explained as Klaus shoved two warm containers into Diego's hands.

"Well mostly me, but even at my hungriest I can't eat all this food." Klaus said, still carrying four containers.

"I can't either." Ben lamented. It wasn't for a lack of trying. He still liked to be included, and Luther usually ended up eating his portions.

Five finally took pity on Klaus and picked up one container. 

"Bitch." Klaus muttered. 

"'You're too skinny, how do you expect to keep Dave happy if he can't even find you.'" Diego guessed, taking another and handing it to Vanya.

Klaus snorted " _Exactly_ those words. Also she said my suit was too tacky for a funeral but she 'gave up on trying to make you look respectable a long time ago'. Jokes on her, though, the more uncomfortable I can make Reggie the better."

"Klaus…" Luther muttered.

Klaus patted his arm gently. 

So they entered the house carrying containers full of food and sweets.

Diego felt a _little_ weird bringing outside food when mom was more than capable of feeding them, but maybe she would see it as a break? 

Maybe she'd appreciate it. 

They finally found Pogo and Grace in the sitting room after leaving everything in the kitchen. 

The painting of Five loomed over them menacingly. 

"Wow, I look like an asshole." He muttered, staring up at it.

Klaus and Diego confirmed he was. 

Mr. Pennycrumb had immediately run over to them both, sniffing around them and begging for attention.

Grace bent over to give him a gentle ear scritch and boop his nose. 

"Oh, look at all these new faces! It's so good to meet you all " Grace said, clasping her hands together. "And…"

"Master Ben." Pogo said with shock.

Ben smiled, waving at Pogo. "Yeah, I'm here… sort of."

"Oh. Klaus, you conjured him?" Grace said, clapping her hands together. "Oh, I'm so proud of you,sweetheart." She said, patting his cheek gently. 

Klaus beamed.

"I see our family has grown quite a bit since we last all saw each other. I'm afraid Luther doesn't tell me much about your lives." Pogo said gently, eyeing Dave, Eudora, and Five who he didn't seem to recognize yet. "I don't suppose you want to do introductions?"

"We'll wait for Allison, don't want to have to do them more than once." Vanya said. "But Five is back." She said, motioning towards him.

Pogo's eyes widened in shock. "Master Five…"

"Hey, Pogo. Grace. It's good to see you both." He said, waving at them.

And then, as if being summoned the door opened and closed, and Allison walked into the living room. 

Klaus bounded over to, enveloping her in a tight hug. "I have been meaning to ask. Can I have your autograph? Huge fan!" Klaus said, stepping back but keeping his hands on Allison's shoulders. 

Allison chuckled. "Sure, Klaus. You're… you look good. I'm glad." She said. Klaus beamed, hugging her again.

Allison went for Luther next, and then Vanya, and finally Diego.

She looked between Five and Dave. It didn't take her any time to figure out which one Five was. They had told her he was back, the first time they had managed to get into contact with her. 

She didn't _really_ believe them.

She had irrefutable proof now, though.

"Ok, ok, wow… I can't believe this." She said. "I thought you had lost it, honestly." She told them.

She stilled, and finally seemed to realize the glowing spectre of her Ben standing there. 

"What?" 

"Hey, Allison." 

She looked to Klaus, who waggled his fingers, before turning back to Ben. "Can… Can I hug you?" She asked. 

Ben answered by wrapping his arms around her.

She broke down crying. "I can't believe I missed this." She mumbled into Ben's shoulder.

"We get it, you were busy." Vanya said. "We have _a lot_ to catch up on."

Allison shook her head. "I'm… I was so worried about things with Patrick and Claire… I'm sorry I forgot you guys." She said, arm still wrapped around Ben, a hand stretched out to grip Five's. 

"Why don't we all go sit in the kitchen. I'll make food, oh it'll be just like when you were kids." Grace said excitedly. 

"A neighbor actually sent us a bunch of stuff. Why don't you just sit and talk with us." Diego said kindly.

Grace seemed to take a moment to process that. She smiled "That sounds lovely." She said.

So they gathered in the kitchen, Grace plating the pre-made food at her own insistence. 

They ate, and they talked. Allison got to learn about what had been going on. How Vanya was first violin, and about her upcoming concert.

Luther, about his astronomy club, how they had traveled to watch a meteor shower just last month, how he and Five lived together.

Five, and how he worked in a lab, doubling as a teacher at a nearby college. How he began volunteering at an animal shelter on weekends.

Klaus, about the Black Cat. The years long engagement. How he could keep Ben around semi-permanently. How he'd joined Ethyl's knitting club, how Ms. Robinson was 'really warming up to me'. 

Diego and how he and Eudora had both been promoted, how Diego had been teaching boxing. He'd started dating, again, though nothing serious. 

She got to properly meet Dave and Eudora.

Dave was a little cautious, he usually was whenever he met someone who seemed inconsiderate towards Klaus' feelings. It had extended to the rest of them over time. She hadn't managed to come to any of Klaus' anniversaries, none of Vanya's concert. Only called on birthdays for a year or two. 

It was something Eudora seemed to do, as well. Diego didn't really _get_ why they felt so protective, and Klaus' babbling about how _someone_ had to make them feel wanted went right over his head. 

Needless to say it took a few hours of getting used to each other before either Dave or Eudora relaxed around her.

They didn't really ever seem to like Pogo.

They _did_ fall in love with Grace, which Diego was thankful for. He didn't want to have to fight his friends over his mom. 

And as the funeral approached, and it began to rain, they stood in a circle of umbrellas. Diego and Luther going without. The rest with respectful black ones. Klaus and Dave huddled under a pink umbrella barely big enough to cover them both.

Luther tried not to cry as he emptied Reginald's ashes in the courtyard. 

Pogo said a few words that Diego wanted to call him out on, but refrained. Reginald was an asshole and a monster, if Pogo couldn't see that by now, he never would. 

Grace asked what was happening and Diego took her inside. 

The family dispersed for a bit. Diego wanted to spend some time with mom.

Eudora and Dave wanted to explore. 

Luther and Five had broken into Reginald's alcohol, and while they seemed to have kept a few bottles, Diego could overhear them talking about selling the rest.

Then Ben came up to him "Hey, we found some stuff about us in dad's office." He said, looking as if he needed to catch his breath, though he didn't even breathe anymore. It's like… a bunch of notes on us. Thought you might be curious."

Diego _was_ , so he stalked back to the office, a room once forbidden to them. 

Klaus was sitting on the desk, flicking through some files. Luther and Five were _also_ looking through files. There seemed to be four more, and Diego quickly went to find his.

From what he gathered they were sleep studies, basic information on their average vitals, their blood type. Vague notes about their physical training, how they're physical fitness was improving. 

Diego was disgusted with the spark of pride he felt at the steady increase in his own file. 

Vanya and Allison wandered back in, Dave and Eudora following in after them. Eudora peaked at the file Diego was holding.

The angry scoff he heard from Dave must have meant Klaus' wasn't particularly kind to him.

"My sleep charts are weird..." Vanya said, motioning for them to come closer. They compared their own charts. Klaus' were the only ones that even compared to Vanya's, but where as his was chaotic; his brain plateauing in places at high energies, descending before spiking to a high peak, multiple short spikes. Vanya's were consistently spiking at different heights without a single plateau. 

Even the others had peaks and plateaus and dips, but Vanya's was constantly peaking. At each peak was the name of a different potential sound, from what he could gather. The smaller spikes had little question marks labeling them as unknown. 

"Did I just… not sleep well as a kid?"

"No, look, these are sounds that caused your sleep to go all… wonky." Dave suggested, peering over Diego's shoulder.

"I didn't know you were such a light sleeper." Allison said.

And then it seemed to occur to them all that _no_ _one_ had managed to tell Allison about Vanya's powers.

Or at least what they've gathered they were, are any rate.

"Oh… uhm I have this sort of… sound based telekinesis?" Vanya said, smiling sheepishly. "Oh! You said there was a book?" 

Allison looked more than a little stunned, but they all gathered around the red, leather-bound book.

They flipped through notes on everyone, for now, to focus on Vanya's chapter. If she had one.

She did.

"I… I don't even remember this." Allison whispered. There was a note at the very end about how dangerous Vanya was, and how he had to have Allison make her think she was ordinary.

"He used to lock you in a _cage_?" Luther hissed, spotting a diagram of a sound proof chamber.

Klaus stalked out of the room at that revelation. 

"I _killed_ people." Vanya muttered, spotting the list of nannies she had, apparently, flung across the room in anger at the age of four. 

"That's not even what scared him. He really fucking thought you breaking his _monocle_ was more horrific than you killing nannies." Eudora scoffed.

And Diego was reminded of a conversation they had a long time ago, and he laughed. 

"It isn't funny!" Vanya snapped, wiping tears away from her eyes.

Klaus came back smelling like kerosene and smoke, and Diego wasn't sure he wanted to know why. 

"No, I was just… I know." Diego said, pulling Vanya into a hug.

"I really don't remember this, Vanya, I'm so _so_ sorry." Allison said.

Vanya nodded "I know, you were…. We were little kids, you couldn't have known." She said.

They stood in a circle, quietly comforting each other as they read through Reginald's book. A lot of it was things they had discussed over the last few years, but reading them from Reginald's perspective was interesting, to say the least.

Then Pogo came inside.

"Ah, you… oh. I see." He said, sighing softly as he spotted them all gathered around their father's notes. "You… weren't supposed to see that. I'm sure you have a lot of questions Miss Vanya." 

Vanya looked up at Pogo. Klaus scoffed loudly. "Of course he knew." He muttered, rolling his eyes. 

"I found out a few years ago." Vanya said.

Pogo's eyes widened slightly. "I see… And you…"

"Spent hundreds of dollars on lightbulbs." Dave murmured. Vanya giggled.

"I've got it under control, moreso every day." She said.

Pogo nodded. "Well, I… thought you might want to look at some old… videos of you children." But his tone was one of confusion, as if he wasn't sure he _should_ be saying this. 

Allison, Five, Dave, and Eudora were the only ones who seemed particularly interested, but they all went. 

They gathered the tapes and player around a television large enough they could all sit around. 

Children running around, chasing each other. Flashes of blue as Five blinked out of the way during a game of tag, Klaus and Allison playing dress up, the one time they managed to drag Diego into it. Ben and Luther pouring over a book, chatting excitedly. Vanya listening as Five rambled on about something Diego still couldn't follow as an adult. 

The kids helping mom garden, or cook. 

The kids in lessons.

Vanya alone in her tiny, now non-existent room, playing violin by herself. 

Klaus sneaking a glass of alcohol from dad's liquor cabinet, and hiding the bottle in his jacket. 

Diego trying to mend a wound on Luther.

Six children sitting at a table.

A funeral. 

They had thought dad stopped recording them by the time Ben died, but there was still one tape left.

"Was dad acting weird?" Allison asked Luther, holding the last tape up.

"Define weird." Diego said. 

Luther nudged Diego, rolling his eyes. "I saw him a couple of months ago, but he was… too busy to talk to me." He said, his voice sounding a bit choked up. 

Diego had a quip but decided against it. Luthe didn't need him being a _complete_ asshole right now. 

Allison frowned, putting the tape into the player. Reginald, sitting up in bed, Grace giving him his tea. 

Diego was a bit annoyed Reginald had the ball to have mom serve him tea in bed, how selfish could he be?

And then he reached a hand out, and fell back suddenly, dead.

"So… huh, why didn't mom try to help him?" Vanya asked. 

"Why _would_ she?" Klaus countered.

"It's part of her programming… Dad said it once, she was created to be a protector."

"Hmm, maybe… She was acting a bit weird at the funeral. She didn't seem to get dad had even died." Diego said.

"I hope she isn't degrading… I doubt dad would have kept up on her maintenance without us being here." Ben said.

"Pogo would have kept up on it, he took care of her." Diego said. 

"It is a bit weird how dad died though, right?" Luther asked, playing the tape back.

Klaus shrugged, leaning back into Dave. "It's a bit weird he decided… to what, set up a camera in _his_ room?" 

Luther seemed to think that over. "Pogo did say dad seemed a bit paranoid, now that I think about it."

"Oh, when you were considering coming back to live here." Five said, pointing to Luther. "I'm glad you didn't, by the way. Mr. Pennycrumb would have been distraught." He said solemnly.

"I'm sure the dog is one who would be upset." Klaus murmured, just barely loud enough for Diego to hear. 

Diego snorted.

Luther slumped. "I might have been able to help him." He said.

Allison reached a hand out and Vanya rubbed his back. 

"You don't know that, Lu. He could've died from anything." Vanya said. "You have no idea if you being here would have changed anything."

"I guess… It does seem weird, though. That he reinstated a camera in his room… Maybe he had gotten death threats or something? He had enemies."

Diego didn't really give a shit, and judging by some of the others they didn't either. 

"We'll ask Pogo to fix mom and we can ask her." Diego suggested.

But when they did, Pogo determined that the repairs could take a few days.

Luther decided to look around Reginald's room, while Diego and Dave scoured Klaus' room for any remaining drugs he may have stashed.

Klaus hadn't relapsed, or attempted to relapse, in a couple of years, but he was still nervous. 

And then as Diego flushed the last of the pills Klaus had Luther made himself known. 

"Dad's monocle is missing…"

Diego rolled his eyes "Mom probably has, it bro. We'll ask her when Pogo finishes patching her up."

Luther groaned. "There has to be something… I don't… it doesn't make sense? Did you even think dad _could_ die?"

Diego shrugged "Not really, but I don't see the big deal."

"I guess…"

And then they didn't talk about it again for three days. Pogo said he was still having issues getting Grace up and running.

They had gone through dad's will, and Klaus was pleasantly surprised he actually _got_ anything. 

They all did, all the money to be split evenly between the living children.

Ben was a bit annoyed he was stuck being broke.

Of course alongside the money they all got deeds to various buildings. 

Klaus got the deed to the cemetery that had The Mausoleum in it.

Dave may have spent the following half hour promising to kill Reginald _himself_. 

Somehow. 

And then they had to explain to Allison why dad even owned a cemetary, let alone why Klaus would be so shaken up by it. 

She was more than a little pissed off by the new information. 

On the third day, after things had settled down, Luther brought it up again over the muffins they still had from Ms. Robinson. 

"So… Mom still isn't fixed and we have no idea how dad died."

"Heart attack." Eudora said, "I made a few calls to the coroner. She's a friend, it was easy enough."

Luther sighed "But the cameras?"

Klaus groaned. "Fine, fine. I'll conjure him. This is absolute _bullshit,_ but you're going nuts over here." 

Luther frowned "No, Klaus you don't have to do that, I just think it's weird."

Klaus had stood up to conjure Reginald, but paused. "You sure?"

Luther and Diego shared a look. 

"Do you _want_ to?" 

Klaus scoffed "Fuck no." And he sat down. "Just trying to be helpful." 

"Well you can be helpful by remembering to take out the trash before 12am." Dave said, poking Klaus in the side. 

Klaus blew him a raspberry. 

Luther chuckled "Or remembering to buy paper cup holders, we ran out again."

"That's on me, I thought I placed the order when I didn't." Dave said. 

All thoughts of Reginald disappeared.

Grace was fixed by the next day, which Diego was very thankful for. 

She admitted to him, while he helped her in the kitchen since their leftovers had finally been eaten, that Reginald had killed himself in the hopes of bringing them together to stop the end of the world. 

Diego informed her that she needn't worry about the Apocalypse at all.

She told him she was happy he and his siblings were so happy, and that she was sorry she couldn't protect them more. 

Diego cried, and told her he hasn't ever blamed her for anything, and the others didn't either. 

Diego was pretty sure Grace shed a tear in that moment too. 

Things went back to normal after that. Allison traveled back to LA to go see Claire, and alongside Patrick made a plan to visit home more often, and to have _them_ visit her.

And a year later, on a nice spring day, Klaus and Dave were married.

The entirety of the Hargreeves clan were Klaus' groomspeople, Dave managing to steal Eudora as a groomswoman, and his own brother.

Allison was maid of honor because "You've already been married, and you're the only other person with any sense of class or fashion."

Claire was, of course, the flower girl.

Dave managed to convince Five that Mr. Pennycrumb should be the ring bearer. 

It was a surprisingly simple affair, if only because Klaus and Dave insisted on three separate clothing changes each, and most of their intended budget went to _that_. 

Dave's parents had led him down the aisle, just as Grace led Klaus. 

The front row on Klaus' side was made up of several old women, including Ms. Robinson who, during the reception, told Diego; "Dave is an idiot and he and that rat boy deserve each other!" through a misty-eyed gaze.

The reception started to come to an end. Dave and Klaus flopped on a couch, cuddled up to each other. 

Dave seemed to be trying hard not to cry for the fifth time that night. Klaus had managed to get it all out just before the reception. 

From what Allison said it was pretty ugly .

Again, Diego was more than happy to let Allison deal with that.

Diego sat down on the floor, tie loose, hand gripping a cold bottle of rootbeer, the closest thing to alcohol they had. 

Vanya was talking to some friend of Dave's, Luther and Allison _happily_ chatted with Ms. Robinson.

Diego could only assume they hadn't offended her in any capacity because she hadn't insulted them _once_.

Eudora soon joined Diego on the floor, placing a head on his shoulder, tucking her hand in his. "This was nice." She said. 

Diego smirked at her "If you're about to propose to me you have another thing coming."

Eudora snorted, "Not in your wildest dreams. But it was still nice. I think Andrés got over his thing with Klaus, he shook his hand today."

"Only took six years." Diego said. 

"My question is do you think Klaus will let me borrow his pre-reception dress one day."

Diego hummed. "Maybe, but you'd have to borrow it within the year, there's no way he won't find someone to make it more comfortable for everyday use."

"Oh, no that's perfect, exactly why I want to wear it." She said, laughing. 

"Yeah, I'm sure all that tulle won't get in the way."

"I'd look fantastic."

And then it was just the Hargreeves, the Katz's and Eudora. Patrick putting Claire to bed so Allison could spend the evening with her siblings.

They sat together in the living room, watching the shimmering glow of the fireplace in companionable silence.

**Author's Note:**

> I love the idea of Reginald just... never getting any resolution to his big ol plan, so he doesn't get to know if his plan was successful or not. If he wanted answers he shouldn't have been a dick. 
> 
> \--
> 
> So, my idea was this;
> 
> Ceremony: Simple, elegant suits for both Dave and Klaus, maybe a little something to make them pop, but just very classic and elegant.
> 
> And then for the first part of the reception they wear ridiculously extravagant outfits. Dave in just a very blingy suit, and Klaus in a ridiculously pimped out dress. (just LOTS of crystals on both outfits, Klaus needs like three people to help hold his dress up to use the bathroom because there's so much fabric, just the works). 
> 
> And then before their first dance they change into much simpler outfits, Dave in like... a button down, and Klaus a lacy crop top-skirt combo, that are just very simple and easy to move in.
> 
> Also Luther single-handedly (well double handedly) lifted Dave and Klaus in their chairs until Diego, Ben, and Five took pity and helped him.  
> \--
> 
> Yes, all of Klaus' non-familial guests are over 85 (and Patrick, because Allison asked if he could come and Klaus said sure). And Ben was the only ghost!


End file.
